


i promise (i'll do better)

by Lunannex



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Allison Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Allison Hargreeves-centric, Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, POV Allison Hargreeves, Pre-Canon, basically the aftermath of Allison rumoring Claire, ft. Diego bc I love him, no beta we die like ben, the tua writers are cowards for not showing us more of Allison’s life pre-canon smh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:49:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29959821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunannex/pseuds/Lunannex
Summary: "Do you actually regret doing what you did?" Diego asks abruptly.Allison immediately straightens her back and pinches her brows together. "What? Yes, of course I do, what kind of question-""Seems to me like you only really care that you got caught."Allison flounders for a moment as her blood runs cold, but she can't help the incredulous, wry bark of laughter that tears out of her throat. "Don't you dare. You don't get to act like you know me, you don't know anything, Number Two. You didn't then and you definitely don't now." She practically snarls.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23





	i promise (i'll do better)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back on my Allison Hargreeves bullshit lads!!! I wrote this out of pure spite because the treatment she gets in the fandom makes me sick. She's a good woman who's done a lot of bad things and I LOVE getting to explore her character when I can❤

Allison's not sure if she's breathing.

She's crying, though, _that_ she knows.

Diego is saying something in her ear, but Allison can't hear him over the sound of her ears ringing. She's always been a silent crier, and now is no exception. She had to be, growing up in the environment that she did, after all.

It's only when she slides down against the door of Claire's room and brings her knees up to her chest that her mind actually starts to register Diego's words.

"–'cause I haven't seen him in weeks. Who knows what the bastard's up to these days."

Allison tries to shake herself out of her stupor, but still doesn't answer. Actually, she's too focused on pulling herself together that she barely even notices Diego going quiet over the other line.

Once she does notice, though, she freezes, not knowing if he'd hung up until he nearly makes her jump out of her own skin when he curiously asks, "Allison?"

She shuts her eyes tight and brings her fist up to her mouth with a strangled gasp. Each breath shudders painfully in her lungs like she can’t get enough air and she _hates_ it. Hates it so much that it kind of makes her feel nauseous.

Allison scrambles to take the phone in both hands after hastily wiping away her tears with the palm of her hand. She lets her finger hover over the screen for a second and hits the unmute button before she can think better of it.

She runs a hand over her face with a sigh. "Sorry, what did you say?" She manages, and it's a miracle that her voice comes out as steady as it does.

A pause, a moment of hesitation from Diego that Allison can sense, even with all the miles upon miles that are separating them. It lasts long enough to make her squirm, but then, in a careful, reproachful tone, Diego asks, "Allison, what's going on?"

"I messed up." She blurts out. "God, Diego, I‐ I messed up so _bad_."

She hears the muffled sound of rustling over the other line. "What happened?" Diego asks a little more urgently, never being one for patience, and _fuck_ , he sounds so earnest when he asks that. So genuinely worried and with just the right amount of compassion that the lump in Allison's throat can't help but grow.

Diego's all hard edges and cutting words, whatever softness he has in him has been beaten down with years of rejection.

 _(And abuse_ , her mind oh-so helpfully supplies.)

Mom's the only person that's ever been able to coax out that side of him, with her gentle words, smooth hands and warm plastic-like smile. For the longest time, Allison thought that she was the only person capable of doing that. She knows that she isn't, logically– Diego's always been a protector by nature, after all. But that still doesn't make this sudden display any less surprising. 

Allison grimaces and pushes a strand of hair out of her face, letting her gaze drift towards the closed door of her bedroom across the hall. "Patrick's filing for divorce."

She thinks she might hear Diego throwing one of his knives against a wall. "Why?"

"He, uh-" Allison looks down at her bare feet, and swallows more roughly than she probably should. She runs her thumb over the ring on her finger and purses her lips. "He caught me rumoring Claire." She admits. "And I don't- I don't care about Patrick filing for divorce. Well, I do, but just- I just...I care about Claire. Diego, if I- what if-" She closes her eyes again and bites her lip in a poor attempt to get it _stop trembling._ "I can't lose her…" She mutters brokenly, kind of despising the way that her voice cracks at the end.

"Why not just do your whole rumor thing?" Diego's voice has already reverted back to its usual gruff tone, but the tinge of concern is still there nonetheless. "Not like you've second-guessed using it before."

"I thought about it." Allison admits quietly, as if it were a dark secret that had been ripped out of the deepest depths of her soul. As if Diego hadn't been _expecting_ that answer. "And- and I _want_ to, but I don't...think that's the best solution." She leans her head back against the door and frowns at the ceiling.

"That's what got me into this whole mess in the first place, and I'm not about to let it be the reason I get out of it." She tells him, a fierce sensation that she can't quite put into words quietly simmering under her veins.

Diego hums. "It's a little late to play the whole _'mind-manipulator with a heart of gold'_ routine, don't you think? What, you think I don't know how you managed to become one of Hollywood's A listers?"

"Diego-"

"Do you actually regret doing what you did?" He asks abruptly.

Allison immediately straightens her back and pinches her brows together. "What? Yes, of _course_ I do, what kind of question-"

"Seems to me like you only really care that you got caught." 

Allison flounders for a moment as her blood runs cold, but she can't help the incredulous, wry bark of laughter that tears out of her throat. "Don't you dare. You don't get to act like you know me, you don't know _anything_ , Number _Two_. You didn't then and you _definitely_ don't now." She practically snarls.

"Because you haven't bothered to reach out to me! To _us._ You- after you left I thought that you wanted nothing to do with any of us, and I was _right_."

"Well it's not like you've reached out either!" Allison counters, her voice rising to match his as she leans forward and curls her fingers around the carpet. "You- it's not- you can't blame it all on me when you've been just as distant. Diego, that's just not fair."

Diego scoffs, and suddenly Allison can't remember why she thought it'd be anywhere _near_ a good idea to call him. "Oh, you wanna talk about fair? That's _rich_ coming from-"

"Hell, I had to hear that you got kicked out of the police academy from _Klaus_ of all people! That's how I found out that you were ever even _in_ a police academy to begin with!" She pushes, lips curling and fists trembling furiously.

"Are you seriously bringing that up _again-_ "

"And at least I invited you to my wedding, didn't I? That has to count for _something_."

Diego huffs out a humorless laugh. "Yeah, and look at how well _that_ turned out for you." He mutters coldly under his breath, so quietly that Allison has to strain her ears to hear him. But she still hears him, and it causes her hackles to rise. "Okay, answer me this question, _Number Three_ , if Patrick hadn't heard you when he did, would it even matter to you? What made that rumor different from the rest, aside from the fact that you got caught this time around?" He asks briskly. "I mean, it wouldn't be the first time you did."

Allison blinks, her mouth opening and closing multiple times as the fire that had been rapidly rising in her chest starts to smother, leaving only hurt and bewilderment in its place. "I don't…" Her words trail off, because what the _hell_ is she supposed to say to that? What does Diego want her to say?

Then, there's silence again, tense and stilted in a way that she's grown all too familiar with. There's always been a friction between them –between _all_ of them–, but that's not all this is. Only calling it a friction would be an oversimplification. It sounds too casual, too _normal_ , because along with the friction there's also a large, gaping empty space that both of them are consciously ignoring.

Diego's words are as sharp and cutting as a knife, and _exactly_ what she expects from him. They're harsh, blunt, but what hurts the most is that they're _true_ , at some level at least. She knows they are. 

She knows that it's something that she should hear, something that she _needs_ to hear. And she wants to be angry. Wants to pull every objection in the book and waste her breath if it would get him to believe the words that come out of her mouth. But, at the same time, Allison can’t bring herself to, so she places her forehead on top of her knees and tries to breathe instead.

She’s built walls to protect herself; fortified them with iron, steel, and sheer stubbornness. She's filled in every single crack with a certain type of clumsiness and desperation that she hadn't known she was capable of.

The stone case Allison keeps her heart in has long since been sealed shut. The lock is nonexistent, and the key has been lost for ages, disappearing into thin air the second she'd thrown herself into the world of super-stardom, or maybe even long before that. She's not sure.

Her barriers are a force to be reckoned with, and nobody has been able to fully break through them. Not Patrick, not her old therapist, and _certainly_ not Diego.

So no, Diego _doesn't_ know her. No one does.

She's not even sure if she knows herself, either.

There's a heavy sigh over the other line that makes her clench her jaw, already gearing herself up for whatever other ugly truth Diego's about to hurl her way. But, to her surprise, the words that come out of his mouth instead are, "Look, Allison...I'm not trying to antagonize you."

"I have to go." She croaks out either way, barely succeeding at sounding mildly nonchalant and unaffected.

"Allison-"

"I heard a rumor that you forgot all about this conversation." She rushes out on impulse before he can get another word out. She immediately presses the end call button and places her hand over her mouth as she hunches forward, carefully ignoring the way her chest tightens into knots when her phone starts ringing just a few seconds afterwards. 

She can deal with the consequences later.

For now, she closes her eyes, let's the tears fall, and tries to ignore the all too familiar wave of guilt that's washing over her with a force strong enough to leave her drowning.

**Author's Note:**

> Petition to see more of Allison's life pre-canon pls, it's what we deserve.
> 
> Allison and Diego's relationship is so interesting to me. They care about each other, that much is obvious, but there's still a large strain in their relationship. They know exactly where to hit the other where it hurts and they really don't hesitate to call each other out (I mean, just look at how they were with each other in S1)
> 
> Diego is right and Allison does know that, it's why she gets so defensive. Unlike the Allison we see in S1, this Allison still hasn't completely accepted the fact that all of her problems were, at the end of the day, created and worsened by her. She's the main reason all of this is happening, even if her upbringing does play a huge factor in how careless she used to be with her powers, but she's trying to be better. And I just love she.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this! Comments and kudos are appreciated!❤ You can find me on:  
> Tumblr: Lunannex   
> Instagram: Lunannex  
> (I mostly post art on both)


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